Thinking of eloping? It's not about a made dash in the middle of the night to the border!
K & M. A wonderful day starting with their ceremony at Stoneridge Estate chapel.
We’d all agree that organising a wedding during these uncertain times for travel can be a bit difficult. I’m finding that lots of couples are either having small, more intimate weddings, or eloping. Sometimes their elopement is just the two of them, sometimes with a very small number of close friends. Elopements are fantastic and sometimes it will be the perfect thing for you as a couple.
Someone asked me recently what the difference was between a wedding and an elopement? Traditionally, an elopement was when the bride and groom ran away secretly to get married without parental consent! Think of those moments in the movies when the long lovers escaped in the middle of the night to Gretna Green in Scotland!, pursued, the next morning, by an irate father or brother.
Magical day on Cecil Peak. T & C celebrating.
These days, parental consent is rarely, if ever, required. So now eloping is just about going off and having a very small wedding, maybe without any guests. You might tell family or friends beforehand, or you might not. I had a couple recently who eloped with just their two closest friends as witnesses. They had an engagement party planned for their return home …. or so their guests thought. The bride and groom were going to slip away and come back fully dressed in their wedding outfits. This has happened a lot. Sometimes couples have come from the other side of the world to get married in NZ. They’ve returned and announced their wedding by playing a stunning video of the day.
To put it simply, the answer is really just the number of people there and whether or not you told many (or any) people about it beforehand.
Why elope? You might just want a really quiet and intimate wedding. You might not feel comfortable with lots of people. You might have had plans disrupted by Covid and this is the best solution; get married now and have a big party with guests from overseas later. You might have been intending to have your ceremony overseas. Sometimes, couples elope because family circumstances mean that something quiet is their preferred choice.; perhaps a family member is unwell. Sometimes it is a spur of the moment decision. Sometimes it is an economic decision around the cost of the wedding; you might be wanting to put the money that a large wedding might cost into something else.
A & D joined us from the UK for their elopement. A really special day at Stoneridge Estate. Photo by Alpine Images
Are they legal? Absolutely, so long as they are conducted by a registered celebrant and meet the legal requirements. You need the same license to marry, regardless of the number of guests. You also need two witnesses but they can be your photographer and even the helicopter pilot if we are up in the mountains. Sometimes I even bring along a friend or family member to be your second witness!
Making it official! Signing on the dotted line…
Are they special? Absolutely! Sometimes they are even more special than a huge wedding because there isn’t anything else to worry about other than the two of you and the moment of getting married. They are intimate, incredibly romantic and every bit as special, just in a different way.
I still want to have my “bridal moment”. Is that OK if I elope? Yes! Most couples who elope still get dressed up, we have flowers, sometimes a really special location, we have a photographer to record the moment and sometimes a videographer too and almost always they have a romantic dinner together afterwards.
The setting, the flowers, the rose petals: all ready for the ceremony. The Millhouse at Millbrook.
Can we live-stream to the family? Of course. We frequently do this at the moment. Sometimes there are just a few people, slightly bleary-eyed on the other side of the world, sometimes a big party with family and friends, sometimes hundreds connecting in individually. We make it just as special as if they are there. I include them in the ceremony and they can even deliver a reading, making a speech or give you a blessing.
Our plans keep getting upset by Covid! We can do this! This week I married a couple who had two previous sets of plans to marry interrupted by Covid. So they came to Queenstown and we had a magical ceremony with just the two of them. The witnesses were two members of the hotel team that had helped them organise the ceremony and a wonderful photographer created he visual memories of the day. We even had snow afterwards for that magical moment.
Your wedding is, after all, about getting married to each other. It is about doing it in the way that you want and that is perfect for you both. So if elopement is for you, drop me a note at Catherine.fyfe@xtra.co.nz and we can have a chat.